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    • ⛸ TECHNICAL >
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        • The Corner Lay In
        • Corners – Working the Right Hip on the Lay In
        • Bringing Right Hip Forward in Corner
        • Chest In to Corner
        • Moving Hips in the Corner
        • Moving Hips In to Push
        • Off Ice Training with Straps – Part 1 of a 2 Part Series
        • On Ice Training with Straps – Part 2 of a 2 Part Series
        • Bucket Drills
        • Partner Pull / Chair Push
        • The Corner Arm Swing
      • ⛸ POSITION >
        • Starting the Season Off Right
        • Taking Care of the Small Things
        • The 3 Keys Checklist – Find the Key in the Basics First!
        • Skating with Your Core
        • The Basic Position – The Arch
        • A Time to Get High, A Time to Get Low
        • Upper Body / Chest Position
        • Check Your Butt!
        • Butt Power
        • The Butt Tuck
        • Hip Dip
        • Bend the Ankle
      • ⛸ STARTS >
        • The Tip Over Toe Start
        • Start Technique
        • Start Position
      • ⛸ STRAIGHTAWAYS >
        • Press In to Push
        • Presscoopinchpushpinish
        • Gather the Power
        • Transferring Power from Ball of Foot to Ice – The Ankle Snap​
        • Transferring Power from Hip to Ball of Foot
        • Transferring Power Hip to Hip
        • Accelerating Your Weight In to Your Push
        • Japanese Four Eyes Technique
        • Delaying the Push – Straightaways
        • The Straightaway Shuffle
      • ⛸ TRACKS >
        • Tracks
        • Entry and Exit Width
        • Entry and Exit Trajectory
        • The Extra Crossover
        • Punching Through Centrifugal Force – Position and Alignments
        • Converting from 4 to 2 Strides on Straight
      • ⛸ ASSORTED TECHNICAL >
        • Relay Racing – Part 1 – Skater Roles and Laps
        • Relay Racing – Part 2 – The Exchange, Training Ideas
        • Skating with Your Core
        • Why Are The Koreans So Good?
        • Technical Opinions Can Be Confusing
        • The Outside Edge – Is It Overrated?
        • Diagonal Hill Steps
    • 🏃 TRAINING >
      • 🏃 PLANNING >
        • Off Season Rest and Recovery
        • Building Endurance
        • Summer Training
        • Train Fast to Skate Fast
        • Tapering
        • Time Trialing
      • 🏃 SPECIFIC >
        • Specificity in Training
        • Specific Skating Training – Is Your Plan Specific Enough?
        • Warm Ups and Warm Downs
        • Off Ice Balance, Agility, and Co-ordination Training
        • Dynamic Flexibility Training
        • Flexibility Training a Must for Speed Skaters
        • Maximize Your Results with TECHNI-CORDS
        • Improving Your Power with Jumps
        • ​Specific Strength, Power, Endurance – Part 1 – Straightaway
        • Specific Strength, Power, Endurance – Part 2 – Straightaway Jumps
        • Specific Strength, Power, Endurance – Part 3 – Corners
        • Specific Strength, Power, Endurance – Part 4 – Starts
        • Training for Starts
        • Relay Racing – Part 1 – Skater Roles and Laps
        • Relay Racing – Part 2 – The Exchange, Training Ideas
        • Bucket Drills
        • Partner Pull / Chair Push
        • Core Strength for Speed Skating
        • General Core Strength, by Brandon Aldan
      • 🏃 YOUTH >
        • Training Young Athletes 16 and Up
        • Training Young Athletes 12-15 Year Olds
        • Training Young Athletes Under 12
        • Youth Strength Training
    • 🏆 STRATEGY AND TACTICS >
      • Strategy and Tactics – Part 1 – Overview
      • Strategy and Tactics – Part 2 – Controlling the Pace and Track
      • Strategy and Tactics – Part 3 – The Moves and Counter Moves
      • Start Strategy
      • Time Trialing
      • The Slingshot Pass
      • The Outside Pass
      • The Inside Pass
      • Punching Through Centrifugal Force – Position and Alignments
      • Using Strategy and Tactics Under the New Rules
    • 🧠 PSYCHOLOGY >
      • How 5'5" Brandon Todd Learned to Dunk a Basketball
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      • What Do You Have to Brag About?
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      • IT – The Success Factor
      • To Try Is to Fail
      • It's All About Winning
      • How to Parent an Athlete: Lessons from a Swim Meet
      • Children in Athletics
      • Early Star vs Late Bloomer
      • Time Trialing
      • The Competition Plan
      • Start Technique
      • Post Season Evaluation
    • 🚑 SAFETY >
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      • Safety! Is Your Child Truly Protected? – Part 1
      • Safety! Is Your Child Truly Protected? – Part 2
      • Dyneema Undersuits
    • 🚦 RULES >
      • Important Short Track Rule Changes for 2014-2015
      • Important Short Track Rule Changes for 2012
      • Using Strategy and Tactics under the New Rules
      • Important Short Track Rule Changes for 2010
    • 🧰 OTHER >
      • Ankle Pronation: Effects in Skating
      • Fair Play in Sports
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      • Sharpening Tips and Tricks
      • Cashing in on Olympimania to Promote Your Club
      • 75 Great Reasons to Train
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      • Setting Up Blade Offset
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How to Parent an Athlete: Lessons from a Swim Meet

From the blog "Cheaper Than Therapy"
http://www.chicagonow.com/cheaper-than-therapy/2013/03/how-to-parent-to-an-athlete-lessons-from-a-swim-meet/
​April 2013
If I had my child to raise all over again, I'd build self-esteem first, and the house later. I'd finger-paint more, and point the finger less. I would do less correcting and more connecting. I'd take my eyes off my watch, and watch with my eyes. I'd take more hikes and fly more kites. I'd stop playing serious, and seriously play. I would run through more fields and gaze at more stars. I'd do more hugging and less tugging.
~ Diane Loomans, from "If I Had My Child To Raise Over Again"

Download printer-friendly format (pdf)
This is an excellent article giving matter-of-fact advice to parents of athletes. Hope you enjoy and heed the insights this person provides.

"I've spent the past three weekends at the pool for four different kids. If you've been to a swim meet, you know they can be torture. When they get to the higher levels, they are three to five days long and if you have kids in more than one age group, you could be spending up to 12 hours at the pool. It's taken me a LONG time to be able to put all this in perspective and gain some valuable insight. I've observed so many good and bad things, and there are certain things you just shouldn't do:

Don't be a scorekeeper: Whenever you're new to a sport, you always look at fellow parents for clues as to how the whole process works. My first swim meets, I sat by moms that were well-armed. They brought their binders, highlighters, pens and endless lists of time standards. They not only wrote down their own child's times and splits, but they followed other kids. It's not a bad thing to know some of your kid's times, but good grief, don't micro-manage the process. That's the coach's job. You just need to be a parent.

Don't analyze their performance: I was saddened to see so many parents waiting outside the locker rooms only to meet their child with: "You should have dropped your hips sooner.... your streamline was terrible.... how did you let so-and-so beat you..." For the most part, your kid did the best they could. Unless you are an expert and could possibly analyze films later on, don't tell them everything they're doing wrong. That's the coach's job. You just need to be a parent.

Choose your words wisely: This past weekend, my second daughter didn't perform well for two of her races at the biggest meet of the year. Since my oldest daughter has been in that position, I asked if she had any advice. Here's our text exchange:

"It didn't go well for your sister, any words of wisdom?"

"Tell her it doesn't matter. Only think positive. If you both think bad, the rest of her races will go bad. Tell her to go have fun between this race and tomorrow's race. Hang with her swim friends, flirt with a boy...whatever. It doesn't matter."

"She's completely freaked out"

"She just wants to beat my times when I was her age. She's psyching herself out. Just don't get mad at her. She's going to be hard enough on herself."

"I never get mad at you guys for poor performance – I get disappointed, because I know how hard you worked to get there."

"sorry, but when you're in the moment, all you see is that your parents are mad at you."

"I'm never mad at you. I feel bad sometimes, but never anger."

"I know. Just don't forget to tell her you're proud of her."

Until that moment, I never realized that I came across as being angry. That's the last thing I want my kids to hear -- I thought I was the one absorbing the pain, but I must be projecting that as anger. I need to choose my words and actions more carefully. When things don't go well, give them support, not disappointment. It's their coach's job to be disappointed and let them know where they need to improve. You just need to be the parent.

Don't put them on a pedestal: Some parents are so excited that they have an "elite" athlete, that they let them rule the roost. I've seen parents turn into doormats when their athlete wants something. "Oh, you're not warm enough, then take my shirt." "Your water isn't cold enough? Let me buy you a new one." "You're not sleeping well in our king-sized bed? I'll go on the floor, you'll sleep better by yourself." These kids are milking it people. They know you'll do anything to enhance their performance. You can definitely be helpful, but don't stop being their parent just because you want them to do better.

Don't be a dork: If you've been ringing cowbells, wearing bedazzled jean jackets that say SWIM, printing your kid's picture on your t-shirt, holding huge banners with your child's name on them or there's an empty four-foot radius around you because no one wants to sit by you during athletic events, then you may just be a dork. Kids want their parents to be supportive, but not an embarrassing laughing stock. Sometimes outbursts are funny, but crazy antics are only appreciated in small doses. Let their coach be the insane one you can laugh about later. You just need to be the supportive (but not stupid-crazy) parent.

The bottom line is during the major sporting events, they have their teammates, coaches and officials telling them what they're doing right and wrong. They get enough instruction. As much as you want to tell them how to perform better... zip it. If they want to talk about it in a day or two, then that's a great time to analyze, but in the moment, just be a parent. You're the only one that can perform that task, so don't blow it. "
  • Home
  • Skating Tips
    • ⛸ TECHNICAL >
      • ⛸ CORNERS >
        • The Corner Lay In
        • Corners – Working the Right Hip on the Lay In
        • Bringing Right Hip Forward in Corner
        • Chest In to Corner
        • Moving Hips in the Corner
        • Moving Hips In to Push
        • Off Ice Training with Straps – Part 1 of a 2 Part Series
        • On Ice Training with Straps – Part 2 of a 2 Part Series
        • Bucket Drills
        • Partner Pull / Chair Push
        • The Corner Arm Swing
      • ⛸ POSITION >
        • Starting the Season Off Right
        • Taking Care of the Small Things
        • The 3 Keys Checklist – Find the Key in the Basics First!
        • Skating with Your Core
        • The Basic Position – The Arch
        • A Time to Get High, A Time to Get Low
        • Upper Body / Chest Position
        • Check Your Butt!
        • Butt Power
        • The Butt Tuck
        • Hip Dip
        • Bend the Ankle
      • ⛸ STARTS >
        • The Tip Over Toe Start
        • Start Technique
        • Start Position
      • ⛸ STRAIGHTAWAYS >
        • Press In to Push
        • Presscoopinchpushpinish
        • Gather the Power
        • Transferring Power from Ball of Foot to Ice – The Ankle Snap​
        • Transferring Power from Hip to Ball of Foot
        • Transferring Power Hip to Hip
        • Accelerating Your Weight In to Your Push
        • Japanese Four Eyes Technique
        • Delaying the Push – Straightaways
        • The Straightaway Shuffle
      • ⛸ TRACKS >
        • Tracks
        • Entry and Exit Width
        • Entry and Exit Trajectory
        • The Extra Crossover
        • Punching Through Centrifugal Force – Position and Alignments
        • Converting from 4 to 2 Strides on Straight
      • ⛸ ASSORTED TECHNICAL >
        • Relay Racing – Part 1 – Skater Roles and Laps
        • Relay Racing – Part 2 – The Exchange, Training Ideas
        • Skating with Your Core
        • Why Are The Koreans So Good?
        • Technical Opinions Can Be Confusing
        • The Outside Edge – Is It Overrated?
        • Diagonal Hill Steps
    • 🏃 TRAINING >
      • 🏃 PLANNING >
        • Off Season Rest and Recovery
        • Building Endurance
        • Summer Training
        • Train Fast to Skate Fast
        • Tapering
        • Time Trialing
      • 🏃 SPECIFIC >
        • Specificity in Training
        • Specific Skating Training – Is Your Plan Specific Enough?
        • Warm Ups and Warm Downs
        • Off Ice Balance, Agility, and Co-ordination Training
        • Dynamic Flexibility Training
        • Flexibility Training a Must for Speed Skaters
        • Maximize Your Results with TECHNI-CORDS
        • Improving Your Power with Jumps
        • ​Specific Strength, Power, Endurance – Part 1 – Straightaway
        • Specific Strength, Power, Endurance – Part 2 – Straightaway Jumps
        • Specific Strength, Power, Endurance – Part 3 – Corners
        • Specific Strength, Power, Endurance – Part 4 – Starts
        • Training for Starts
        • Relay Racing – Part 1 – Skater Roles and Laps
        • Relay Racing – Part 2 – The Exchange, Training Ideas
        • Bucket Drills
        • Partner Pull / Chair Push
        • Core Strength for Speed Skating
        • General Core Strength, by Brandon Aldan
      • 🏃 YOUTH >
        • Training Young Athletes 16 and Up
        • Training Young Athletes 12-15 Year Olds
        • Training Young Athletes Under 12
        • Youth Strength Training
    • 🏆 STRATEGY AND TACTICS >
      • Strategy and Tactics – Part 1 – Overview
      • Strategy and Tactics – Part 2 – Controlling the Pace and Track
      • Strategy and Tactics – Part 3 – The Moves and Counter Moves
      • Start Strategy
      • Time Trialing
      • The Slingshot Pass
      • The Outside Pass
      • The Inside Pass
      • Punching Through Centrifugal Force – Position and Alignments
      • Using Strategy and Tactics Under the New Rules
    • 🧠 PSYCHOLOGY >
      • How 5'5" Brandon Todd Learned to Dunk a Basketball
      • Strategy for Success
      • John Wooden on Success
      • What Do You Have to Brag About?
      • FOCUS!
      • IT – The Success Factor
      • To Try Is to Fail
      • It's All About Winning
      • How to Parent an Athlete: Lessons from a Swim Meet
      • Children in Athletics
      • Early Star vs Late Bloomer
      • Time Trialing
      • The Competition Plan
      • Start Technique
      • Post Season Evaluation
    • 🚑 SAFETY >
      • Concussions in Speed Skating
      • Safety! Is Your Child Truly Protected? – Part 1
      • Safety! Is Your Child Truly Protected? – Part 2
      • Dyneema Undersuits
    • 🚦 RULES >
      • Important Short Track Rule Changes for 2014-2015
      • Important Short Track Rule Changes for 2012
      • Using Strategy and Tactics under the New Rules
      • Important Short Track Rule Changes for 2010
    • 🧰 OTHER >
      • Ankle Pronation: Effects in Skating
      • Fair Play in Sports
      • Celebrating 100 Skating Tips of the Month!!
      • Sharpening Tips and Tricks
      • Cashing in on Olympimania to Promote Your Club
      • 75 Great Reasons to Train
      • Summer Games
      • Games
      • Masters Skating
      • Setting Up Blade Offset
  • Sue Ellis Bio
    • Testimonials
  • Contact
  • Camps
Copyright © 2002 – Ellis Edge
Feel free to share or reprint this article but please give credit to the author.